I have ants in my office today. Nasty little brown ants. EVERYWHERE!
My predecessor had some ketchup packets in the bottom drawer of the desk, well one leaked and attracted an army of ants.
I called my husband
Me: I have ants!
Him: That’s no good.
Me: I had to come outside because the ants were taking over and we didn’t have any ant spray so I sprayed Glade on them and now my office smells like Glade and I think the ants are having a party.
Me: How am I supposed to work like this, they’re under my feet, and if I work there all day they’ll crawl up my chair or up my leg and into my underpants. Then I’ll have ants in my pants!
Him: You won’t have ants in your pants.
Me: How do you know? You don’t have ants, I do. And the ants are going to take over the world… you know they say they’ll outlive us all.
Him: Isn’t that cockroaches?
Me: They’re all bugs, it applies.
I think this is going to scar me for life… I was already scarred as a child when some brilliant adult told me about bed bugs. I would not sleep without my underwear for fear that they would crawl in my vajayjay and make it their home. I still always sleep in my underwear… always. ANYWHO
My husband was of little help. All he cared about was feeding the baby her lunch! Pshaw!
Now I’m sitting cross legged in my chair trying to avoid the ants, breathing in the toxic Glade fumes freezing my butt off because the window is open to aerate the room and swatting the occasional ant off the top of my desk
Can you say GROSS!!!