Sassy Dots

Monday, November 29, 2010

To the US and back in 60 mins...Happy Birthday Demi!

We planned a day trip to Niagara Falls for Demis' 2nd birthday. The first stop was Bird Kingdom. The drive to Niagara was horrible!!! The weather was not nice at all. We borrowed by dad's GPS, and it took about 2 hours to get there. When we finally got into the city the weather had cleared. We're driving down a street, and we see Bird Kingdom, but not the entry. The GPS tells us to turn right, then left. HA! We end up in the US customs parking lot. The arms only open to enter, and it has a big NO EXIT sign. So I say to K, I'm sure there's a way out up there. You know, like Windows always asks you again "Are you sure you want to go to the US? YES NO" So we go the only way we can. Apparently the border does not work like Windows, you don't get any second chances!!! We end up crossing the Rainbow Bridge!! EEEP!

We pull off to the side of the rows, and this old dude comes out of the building. K opens the door and says "Hi sir, we didn't mean to come over here, but there was nowhere to turn around" The old dude yells at K to get back in the car. Tells him " It's Irrelevant!" and to get back in line. OK scary guy! So we get in line. We have no ID except our driver's license and Demis' health card. We finally get to the booth and tell the guy we just wanted to turn around we DO NOT want into the country. He was pretty nice and basically tells us that we're here now, and we have to go through the process. SIGH. Poor Demi is DONE being in her seat. Which was a good thing I suppose, because they confiscate the car and keys!! We all have to get out and go up to talk to immigration. I AM NOT HAPPY! K is trying to keep me quiet before I run my mouth and get us thrown into jail or worse! We go up to immigration and wait 20 or so minutes before we get called in to talk to some other old guy. He asks us where we were born, what our status is, if we have any ID for Demi (I didn't think to give them her health card). We answer all his questions, and he tells us that even though we don't have the required ID, he is going to let us into the country today! (Not to mention we could very well be kidnapping a child with no ID, but you know, whatev) YAY.... Not. I politely say "No offense sir, but I really don't want to be in your country, I want to go back to Canada!" That could be said nicely, right?! So he tells us to take a U-turn at the lights, pay the toll and go back home.

Off we go with our little US stamp on a scrap piece of paper. Hand it to the officer at the door, and we get our car back. Everything in it, though they didn't bother to lock the doors. Thanks! We get back in the car, make our U-turn and wait in line to greatfully pay the $3.25 to get back into Canada. We cross the Rainbow Bridge, Demi is in the back seat saying "Birds? Birds?" We think we're home free.

Nay nay. We get to the Canadian customs. Bird Kingdom's sign is right beside us... so close we can almost smell the stinky bird poop... and it was stinky! Just our luck we get an even crotchetier old Canadian man. He asks for our ID. We pass him our license and this time I remember her health card. He asks for more ID. We tell him for the, what? 3rd time today that this was all a big accident due to our stupid GPS. We did not want to go to the states. I enthusiastically point to Bird Kingdom and say "We just wanted to go THERE!" He looks at K and gives him the Lightman. He says that our driver's license only shows that we can drive in Canada. SIGH. We have to go talk to Canadian Immigration.

SIGH. BIG OL FREAKING SIGH! We pull into a parking spot where the official is flagging us down. This time at least we get to keep our keys and lock the doors! We go into the building, and are seen right away. The official reads the note the old guy gave us. Looks at us, then asks for our story for the fourth time. We repeat the story yet again. He asks us where we were born, we tell him Markham, Scarborough and North York. He shakes his head, hands us our ID and says "Have a nice day folks".

WOOO HOOO! We're free! The lesson of this story. DO NOT ACCIDENTLY CROSS THE RAINBOW BRIDGE! Break all traffic laws, beg, plead, or pay somebody on the Canadian side to open the gate that says NO EXIT. Oh, and don't listen to the GPS!!!

The day got better from there, thank goodness.



We got to see the birds
Played a little skee ball, went on the Skywheel which Demi LOVED Then off to dinner at the Rainforest Café. We finished the night off by taking a tour of the CAA Festival of Lights, then headed home. Demi fell asleep in the car, and mommy and daddy had a nice quiet ride back. And now Demi and I can officially say we've been to the US, even if it was under duress and only lasted a hour. I should have taken advantage of the free pass and looked up the nearest Target so we could get our stroller for cheap! Oh well.

Really me,
Directionally challenged (must be another pregnancy side effect),
Nik

Wednesday, November 24, 2010

The worst thing he could say.

I had one of those mornings.

I was woken up prematurely from a typical 2nd trimester sex dream. For any of you who have never been pregnant… this is probably one of the best parts of pregnancy, you can have an orgasm in you sleep! Like when does that ever happen?! It's either due to a sex dream…or in my friend's case a really good bowl of wonton soup. Sex and food dreams rule the second trimester.

So I say to K, "You wouldn't be up for a quickie would you?"
His reply "Well it would have to be really quick." WAH WAH Fail!
What man confronted with sex says that?! Apparently the man I married.
Needless to say, the dream was definitely better than reality, I waved him off to go do his morning routine because heaven forbid anything should throw him off his timetable!

Every morning as I get dressed I go between wanting to show off the belly… and still wanting to not look pregnant. This morning I went for showing the belly off with the option of hiding it (ya, cause in my head I hide it really well!). I put on my maternity dress pants, and a form fitting black shirt. I put my makeup on, a little bronzer, brush my hair, look in the mirror and think 'I'm having a good day'.

I go downstairs, look in the full length mirror at my cute little belly and decide that today is a good day for a belly picture! When K comes downstairs I ask him to take a picture for me. I ask him if my hair is ok, is my shirt ok, how's my posture? He says everything is good. He takes a few pictures, and goes off to make his lunch. I get to work downloading the pictures to post on FB of course!

That's when it happened… The pictures were horrible!!
I thought I looked like this


When I really looked like this!

I know you know what I'm talking about. You get all dressed up, do your makeup, your hair, you're feeling good, you're flirting with people..... then you see pictures of yourself from that day. EEEEKK! Double chin, hair flying all over the place, wrinkles in my clothes… cause those better not be rolls! I lose it.

"OMG I look horrible! You were going to let me leave the house looking like this?! No wonder you didn't want sex this morning, I wouldn't touch me either!"

That's when he says the worst possible thing he could have said.
"Baby, you look beautiful."

WHAT?! I am telling you that I look horrible in these pictures, and you're telling me I look beautiful. You're either lying to me or you have really really bad taste in women. If this is beautiful, how ugly do I look on bad days?! Sigh.

I blame my meltdowns solely on the pregnancy hormones. I know this to be true because I got into the car to drive to work and felt like dancing. Then again how could you not want to do a polka when Stereo Love is playing.





Really me,
Hormonally challenged
Nik

Monday, November 22, 2010

Back by Popular Demand

Ha ha, ya, in my imagination maybe. But I am back. There has been a lot going on since I left. And there are a whole bunch of things that are going to happen very shortly!

You know, little things like Demi is turning 2 this weekend!!...


Christmas....

Weddings!!.....



Oh, and WE'RE HAVING ANOTHER BABY!

Ya, that's pretty much what's been on my mind lately. How the heck am I going to manage with another little person running around. I've barely made it in to the 'terrible twos' and now what have I gone and done?! Our little princess who was so quiet and played by herself, has now developed an attitude to rival my own! (Is it any wonder really?!)

But who am I kidding, she is still the sweetest thing since Splenda! She is now talking up a storm, and most of the time we get what she's saying. She can count to 10, and she can almost say all of the ABCs. Those darn LMNOP always throw her off! And now she will get to be a big sister!

So I look forward to writing some more entries, and keeping on top of the game. Look for some Christmas recipes and crafts to come, some more 30 min meals, and some more sarcasm as usual.

Really me,
Knocked up
Nik