I was woken up prematurely from a typical 2nd trimester sex dream. For any of you who have never been pregnant… this is probably one of the best parts of pregnancy, you can have an orgasm in you sleep! Like when does that ever happen?! It's either due to a sex dream…or in my friend's case a really good bowl of wonton soup. Sex and food dreams rule the second trimester.
So I say to K, "You wouldn't be up for a quickie would you?"
His reply "Well it would have to be really quick." WAH WAH Fail!
What man confronted with sex says that?! Apparently the man I married.
Needless to say, the dream was definitely better than reality, I waved him off to go do his morning routine because heaven forbid anything should throw him off his timetable!
Every morning as I get dressed I go between wanting to show off the belly… and still wanting to not look pregnant. This morning I went for showing the belly off with the option of hiding it (ya, cause in my head I hide it really well!). I put on my maternity dress pants, and a form fitting black shirt. I put my makeup on, a little bronzer, brush my hair, look in the mirror and think 'I'm having a good day'.
I go downstairs, look in the full length mirror at my cute little belly and decide that today is a good day for a belly picture! When K comes downstairs I ask him to take a picture for me. I ask him if my hair is ok, is my shirt ok, how's my posture? He says everything is good. He takes a few pictures, and goes off to make his lunch. I get to work downloading the pictures to post on FB of course!
That's when it happened… The pictures were horrible!!
I thought I looked like this
When I really looked like this!
I know you know what I'm talking about. You get all dressed up, do your makeup, your hair, you're feeling good, you're flirting with people..... then you see pictures of yourself from that day. EEEEKK! Double chin, hair flying all over the place, wrinkles in my clothes… cause those better not be rolls! I lose it.
"OMG I look horrible! You were going to let me leave the house looking like this?! No wonder you didn't want sex this morning, I wouldn't touch me either!"
That's when he says the worst possible thing he could have said.
"Baby, you look beautiful."
WHAT?! I am telling you that I look horrible in these pictures, and you're telling me I look beautiful. You're either lying to me or you have really really bad taste in women. If this is beautiful, how ugly do I look on bad days?! Sigh.
I blame my meltdowns solely on the pregnancy hormones. I know this to be true because I got into the car to drive to work and felt like dancing. Then again how could you not want to do a polka when Stereo Love is playing.