To the US and back in 60 mins...Happy Birthday Demi!

We planned a day trip to Niagara Falls for Demis' 2nd birthday. The first stop was Bird Kingdom. The drive to Niagara was horrible!!! The weather was not nice at all. We borrowed by dad's GPS, and it took about 2 hours to get there. When we finally got into the city the weather had cleared. We're driving down a street, and we see Bird Kingdom, but not the entry. The GPS tells us to turn right, then left. HA! We end up in the US customs parking lot. The arms only open to enter, and it has a big NO EXIT sign. So I say to K, I'm sure there's a way out up there. You know, like Windows always asks you again "Are you sure you want to go to the US? YES NO" So we go the only way we can. Apparently the border does not work like Windows, you don't get any second chances!!! We end up crossing the Rainbow Bridge!! EEEP!

We pull off to the side of the rows, and this old dude comes out of the building. K opens the door and says "Hi sir, we didn't mean to come over here, but there was nowhere to turn around" The old dude yells at K to get back in the car. Tells him " It's Irrelevant!" and to get back in line. OK scary guy! So we get in line. We have no ID except our driver's license and Demis' health card. We finally get to the booth and tell the guy we just wanted to turn around we DO NOT want into the country. He was pretty nice and basically tells us that we're here now, and we have to go through the process. SIGH. Poor Demi is DONE being in her seat. Which was a good thing I suppose, because they confiscate the car and keys!! We all have to get out and go up to talk to immigration. I AM NOT HAPPY! K is trying to keep me quiet before I run my mouth and get us thrown into jail or worse! We go up to immigration and wait 20 or so minutes before we get called in to talk to some other old guy. He asks us where we were born, what our status is, if we have any ID for Demi (I didn't think to give them her health card). We answer all his questions, and he tells us that even though we don't have the required ID, he is going to let us into the country today! (Not to mention we could very well be kidnapping a child with no ID, but you know, whatev) YAY.... Not. I politely say "No offense sir, but I really don't want to be in your country, I want to go back to Canada!" That could be said nicely, right?! So he tells us to take a U-turn at the lights, pay the toll and go back home.

Off we go with our little US stamp on a scrap piece of paper. Hand it to the officer at the door, and we get our car back. Everything in it, though they didn't bother to lock the doors. Thanks! We get back in the car, make our U-turn and wait in line to greatfully pay the $3.25 to get back into Canada. We cross the Rainbow Bridge, Demi is in the back seat saying "Birds? Birds?" We think we're home free.

Nay nay. We get to the Canadian customs. Bird Kingdom's sign is right beside us... so close we can almost smell the stinky bird poop... and it was stinky! Just our luck we get an even crotchetier old Canadian man. He asks for our ID. We pass him our license and this time I remember her health card. He asks for more ID. We tell him for the, what? 3rd time today that this was all a big accident due to our stupid GPS. We did not want to go to the states. I enthusiastically point to Bird Kingdom and say "We just wanted to go THERE!" He looks at K and gives him the Lightman. He says that our driver's license only shows that we can drive in Canada. SIGH. We have to go talk to Canadian Immigration.

SIGH. BIG OL FREAKING SIGH! We pull into a parking spot where the official is flagging us down. This time at least we get to keep our keys and lock the doors! We go into the building, and are seen right away. The official reads the note the old guy gave us. Looks at us, then asks for our story for the fourth time. We repeat the story yet again. He asks us where we were born, we tell him Markham, Scarborough and North York. He shakes his head, hands us our ID and says "Have a nice day folks".

WOOO HOOO! We're free! The lesson of this story. DO NOT ACCIDENTLY CROSS THE RAINBOW BRIDGE! Break all traffic laws, beg, plead, or pay somebody on the Canadian side to open the gate that says NO EXIT. Oh, and don't listen to the GPS!!!

The day got better from there, thank goodness.

We got to see the birds

Played a little skee ball, went on the Skywheel which Demi LOVED Then off to dinner at the Rainforest Café. We finished the night off by taking a tour of the CAA Festival of Lights, then headed home. Demi fell asleep in the car, and mommy and daddy had a nice quiet ride back. And now Demi and I can officially say we've been to the US, even if it was under duress and only lasted a hour. I should have taken advantage of the free pass and looked up the nearest Target so we could get our stroller for cheap! Oh well.

Really me,
Directionally challenged (must be another pregnancy side effect),
Nik

The worst thing he could say.

I had one of those mornings.

I was woken up prematurely from a typical 2nd trimester sex dream. For any of you who have never been pregnant… this is probably one of the best parts of pregnancy, you can have an orgasm in you sleep! Like when does that ever happen?! It's either due to a sex dream…or in my friend's case a really good bowl of wonton soup. Sex and food dreams rule the second trimester.

So I say to K, "You wouldn't be up for a quickie would you?"
His reply "Well it would have to be really quick." WAH WAH Fail!
What man confronted with sex says that?! Apparently the man I married.
Needless to say, the dream was definitely better than reality, I waved him off to go do his morning routine because heaven forbid anything should throw him off his timetable!

Every morning as I get dressed I go between wanting to show off the belly… and still wanting to not look pregnant. This morning I went for showing the belly off with the option of hiding it (ya, cause in my head I hide it really well!). I put on my maternity dress pants, and a form fitting black shirt. I put my makeup on, a little bronzer, brush my hair, look in the mirror and think 'I'm having a good day'.

I go downstairs, look in the full length mirror at my cute little belly and decide that today is a good day for a belly picture! When K comes downstairs I ask him to take a picture for me. I ask him if my hair is ok, is my shirt ok, how's my posture? He says everything is good. He takes a few pictures, and goes off to make his lunch. I get to work downloading the pictures to post on FB of course!

That's when it happened… The pictures were horrible!!
I thought I looked like this

When I really looked like this!

I know you know what I'm talking about. You get all dressed up, do your makeup, your hair, you're feeling good, you're flirting with people..... then you see pictures of yourself from that day. EEEEKK! Double chin, hair flying all over the place, wrinkles in my clothes… cause those better not be rolls! I lose it.

"OMG I look horrible! You were going to let me leave the house looking like this?! No wonder you didn't want sex this morning, I wouldn't touch me either!"

That's when he says the worst possible thing he could have said.
"Baby, you look beautiful."

WHAT?! I am telling you that I look horrible in these pictures, and you're telling me I look beautiful. You're either lying to me or you have really really bad taste in women. If this is beautiful, how ugly do I look on bad days?! Sigh.

I blame my meltdowns solely on the pregnancy hormones. I know this to be true because I got into the car to drive to work and felt like dancing. Then again how could you not want to do a polka when Stereo Love is playing.

Really me,
Hormonally challenged
Nik

Back by Popular Demand

Ha ha, ya, in my imagination maybe. But I am back. There has been a lot going on since I left. And there are a whole bunch of things that are going to happen very shortly!

You know, little things like Demi is turning 2 this weekend!!...

Christmas....

Weddings!!.....

Oh, and WE'RE HAVING ANOTHER BABY!

Ya, that's pretty much what's been on my mind lately. How the heck am I going to manage with another little person running around. I've barely made it in to the 'terrible twos' and now what have I gone and done?! Our little princess who was so quiet and played by herself, has now developed an attitude to rival my own! (Is it any wonder really?!)

But who am I kidding, she is still the sweetest thing since Splenda! She is now talking up a storm, and most of the time we get what she's saying. She can count to 10, and she can almost say all of the ABCs. Those darn LMNOP always throw her off! And now she will get to be a big sister!

So I look forward to writing some more entries, and keeping on top of the game. Look for some Christmas recipes and crafts to come, some more 30 min meals, and some more sarcasm as usual.

Really me,

Knocked up

Nik

I'm a Foodie

I love all kinds of food. I love Indian, Chinese, Italian, French, Thai, junk food, fresh food... I haven't met a food I don't like. I pride myself on visiting the restaurants featured on Restaurant Makeover.

But do you know what I really love?

It's not fancy, it's not cultural, it's not anywhere close to being good for you...

I love the little crispies that are left in the casserole dish after you make some shake'n bake chicken!

I'll even do the dishes if it means I get to pick the bottom of the pan.

Don't pretend you don't know what I'm talking about. I know you look at them covered in the jellifying (is that even a word?) chicken fat. They're crispy, salty little bits of goodness.

That reminds me of my family's favorite story about me and my cooking. When I was 10 or 11 I was a latch key kid, at least for a few hours. My dad worked as a caretaker, and my step mom worked the afternoon shift at a nursing home. I was in charge of making dinner. Now before you call CAS, "making dinner" entailed taking the prepped food out of the fridge, turning on the oven and putting it in. My step mom would leave me a note telling me when the meat had to go in, when the potatoes had to go in and at what temperature.

One night we had shake'n bake... my dad loved shake'n bake. I took the chicken out of the fridge, turned on the oven and threw everything in. If you've ever had shake'n bake before you know how yummy crispy the skin is. Well on this particular night the skin was excellent! My dad and I would always take the skin off and set it aside to keep it for our final bite. Well it was soo good that night, that my dad distracted me and stole my prized piece of skin.

Later that night my step mom came home and was cleaning up the kitchen and was washing the dishes. As she was washing the chicken pan she noticed that there was something on the edges that wouldn't come off. Putting two and two together she checked the garbage can to confirm her theory. Then she calls out
"Nicole, what did you do with the plastic wrap I had on the casserole dish??"

You see where this is going?

That's right, I neglected to take the plastic wrap off the casserole dish before I put it in the oven. Mmmmm crispy plastic chicken!

I have not lived that down to this day. Needless to say all future meals were wrapped with tin foil. But in my defense the note didn't say anything about removing the plastic wrap!

Really me,
Just following directions
Nik

Farmville Live in 3D

I used to spend hours on line playing Farmville. In case you've been stuck in the closet for the last 2 years or so... or you're like my husband and you never jumped on the Facebook wagon, Farmville is an online game where you run your own farm. You have to plant different vegetables, pick them, plow the land and plant again. Yes, I was addicted. Much like I was addicted to Sims a few years back. I have an addictive personality apparently.

I know there are a lot of you out there *coughmysisterinlawcough* who have also fallen prey to the game along with many others. The good news is that if you are dedicated enough to check in to Farmville every 2-6-8 hours to harvest your crop, you are dedicated enough to try Farmville Live in 3D.

Last year I had a little garden 4x6 ish. It was good... this year I went for better. We extended the garden by another 4ish feet. Next year, we may just go for broke! The garden was easy to build, all you need is some old 4x4s or railroad ties, or some kind of trim. We used some old used wood my grandparents had lying around. The other important part is something to keep the dirt away from the wood, otherwise the wood will eventually rot. We bought some rubber pond liner which also helped to keep the dirt from falling through the fence on 2 sides. This is what we started with after the edition this year.



This year we planted 2 tomato plants, 2 pickling cucumber plants, 1 zucchini, 2 rows beans (green and yellow), a row of carrots, a green pepper, a butternut squash and Demi's Birdhouse gourd also went into the garden. As usual my tomato plants blew up and became monsters, my zucchini is huge and my cucumbers are out of control! And let me tell you this is so much more rewarding than Farmville cause at least you get to eat what you grow! Take a look for yourself.


Tomatoes, cucumbers and zuchini (I thought I gave them lots of room, but they're monster size!


Carrots & beans


Butternut squash back left, pepper middle, birdhouse gourd up front


Nik's Farm

For any of you who don't necessarily have the room for the garden, you can grow anything in a pot! And the dollar store has some really nice pots ;)

Really me,
The Gardener
Nik

Dirty Little Secret

I'm going to let you in on a little secret. It's not something we like to admit to, but it is the truth.

Ready....

.....

Girls poop too.

That's right I said it. My BFF will be very upset now. She once lived with a guy for over 3 years and she had convinced him that she didn't poop. She would either wait for himto go to work, or she would 'take a shower'. For one the sound of the water muffled any possible pooping sounds, and the smell from her girly shampoos and body washes would mask any odor. She let me in on her little secret when I started seriously seeing my now husband. Clearly she was magic and not prone to any horrible afflictions of Man. The epitome of femininity!

I myself have been known to leave work because I was 'feeling sick' just so I could go home and avoid the workplace bathroom.

Men, on the other hand, have no problems with pooping. In fact some will announce the deed before they take off to the bathroom with a newspaper under their arm.

"Gotta go drop the kids off at the pool"

or

"Dropping the Browns off at the Super Bowl"

Were common phrases from some of my male co-workers.

Ya, thanks, I really needed to know that. Like it wasn't obvious enough when you were away from your desk for 15 mins. What the heck do they do in there!?

When I worked at the Toronto Islands the guys would come up and use the bathroom in the office. I used to keep a bottle of cucumber mellon body spray in my cubby to freshen up after work. Sure enough the guys would use it as their air freshener. To this day I associate cucumber mellon with stinky poop smell.

For the last 3 years I have avoided using a public washroom. I almost broke my streak when K went in for his knee surgery a few weeks ago. We were due at the hospital by 6:45 which totally upset my morning routine. The coffee I had when I got to the hospital didn't help. Shortly after they took K in I walk/ran to the car, clinching the whole way. Luckily home was only a 5min drive!

But we can't always make it home, sometimes public bathrooms are the only option. So here are some tips I've picked up along the way for any of you 'none poopers' out there who would like to remain anonymous.

The Fly By
This is the act of scouting out the bathroom before going in for a poop. Go in and make sure that nobody else is in there, 'check your makeup'. If a stall is occupied come back again later.

A Safe Haven
This is a bathroom that is rarely used, and out of the way of the general population. An abandoned floor, the bathroom nobody knows about, even a handicapped washroom can work well as a safe haven.

The Bird's Nest
This technique involves laying a few sheets of toilet paper on top of the water. It has a a couple of advantages. It helps to mask any plopping, dribbling or splashing sounds. Secondly it protects you from the dreaded 'poo-dew', the results of your poop slashing your bottom with nasty toilet water.

Camo-Cough
If you've forgotten to use the bird's nest or you think some other sounds may escape, a timely cough will help to cover the unwanted sound.

Really me,
President of PA
Nik

My Dad Named His Drill Bit Chuck

"Hand me my Chuck"

"Chuck? Who's Chuck?

"My drill bit... the Chuck."

"You named your drill bit Chuck?"

Clearly I still have a lot to learn. Like drill bits are called chucks. That's how my garden renovation part 2 started this weekend. Actually it started about 2 or 3 hours before that, but it took that long for my dad and I to figure out how we were going to build the box around the air conditioning unit. We're like 2 chiefs my dad and I. I see something in my head, and he sees something completely different. Neither is wrong or better or worse, just different and this can cause some issues. I'm slowly learning how to work with my dad, and when I need to sit back and let the years of experience take over from my fledgling enthusiasm. My great ideas may not translate into a doable project.

I think my dad has the same issue with his father. Both are very headstrong men with their own idea of how to do things. One passing the torch down to the other, and then, as it inevitably happens, your children start to learn tricks of the trade you don't know. But such is life.

This weekend I gave up my bright idea for a doable project, and still ended up with exactly what I saw in my head. A compromise you could say. A melding of two ideas that turned out in the end. I learned some new tricks as I always do working with my elders, and I improved my property in the process. My dad even sacrificed his own home projects to come over and help us. And I'll have you know that it was his birthday weekend. I guess that's where I get my giving nature. Thank you to my dad for this wonderful decorative air conditioning cover!

Before... ugly air conditioner






Forgot to add, this project cost about something like $45, and an hour or so of labor!

Really me,
Apprentice Builder
Nik